Sonic Ironic Moronic Platonic
by ProKitty202
Summary: Join the hedgehog trio (Mostly Sonic) in some zany but simple adventures! Is there anybody that can stop them? You could say this is 'Slice of life'. You could say this is ridiculous. You could actually read this story! C'mon where's the harm?
1. Sonic's Seed

Yes hello I have returned fellow readers who like my Samurai warriors fics.

Many many apologies regarding Sengoku high. I _am_ continuing it as fast as I can, but you know, I need motivation for it.

However for the previous Sonic fic I uploaded...that will be replaced with this one. For those who want to know why, keep reading from here. If not, just scroll down a little and read the actual story.

Since I wrote that fic a few years ago I had a lot of ideas I unfortunately didn't write on paper and with my college coursework getting in the way (don't get me wrong, I love my Gaming course) I just had no time for it and completely forgot the whole plot. So yeah that's it.

If you don't like Sonic being an idiot instead of his normal cocky self, this isn't the fic for you :D

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Sonic Ironic Moronic Platonic 1: Sonic's Seed

Cherries are wonderful aren't they? They're nice and juicy and not to mention quick to eat. Sonic, chillaxing in the back yard particularly adores this tiny fruit comparing to the others. It's an addiction, like his love to chilli dogs. It's pretty much the same for Knuckles when it comes to grapes.

Sonic had a casual, if not peculiar way of eating them. A normal person would pick up a cherry from a bowl and eat it straight away; a daring person would chuck the cherry in the air and try to catch it with their mouths.

Sonic on the other hand likes to _throw_ cherries against the nearest wall and catches it after the first bounce_._ He never missed a single shot. _Ever_.

What he adored most about cherries is the satisfying pop noise they make when he effortlessly crushes them between his teeth. The smooth shiny shield combined with the gushy and sweet sour insides of the cherry; Sonic liked it all.

Especially annoying the hell out of Shadow with obnoxious cherry related texts such as '_I popped many cherries today! SUCK IT _'. Yeah he sent that one right now.

'_You better cut it out, Sonic._' Shadow's reply had a little gun emoticon next to it. Paying no heed to this threat Sonic burst into a contagious laughter. Tears formed from the sockets because he was laughing so hard "AHAHAAH-GACK!"

Sonic was blue in the-well bluer than his fur. Looking over to the second bowl of cherry seeds he noticed a chewed up residue in the middle.

…meaning that he swallowed the seed by accident.

"SHADOOOOOW!"

Said hedgehog only needed to blink and the panicking blue was in front of him, on his knees with explosive tears flowing from his eyes. At the moment Sonic is at Shadow's house for a, unfortunately for the latter, _daily visit._ "Sha-Shadow! You gotta-h-help me buddy! I…" He sniffled badly like a child who knows they did wrong. "I s-swallowed a seed and! And" he started hiccupping "Am I going to die?"

As much as Shadow loved this moment of the blue blur grovelling at his feet allowing possible head stomping later on, Shadow simply sighed and looked away. Anything that wasn't Sonic. "No…you're not going to die."

"REA—"

"But if you're having trouble shitting today that's _probably_ because of the seed growing inside you."

"…ohhh….SHIIIII—"

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Hahaa! I just had to write this one. This happened to me two days ago and my mom was teasing me about it. Boy it was uncomfortable XD And I thought it would be funny if it happened to Sonic. Hoho don't get me wrong, I love the blue ball of fur ^ ^

What else is there to say...

Review? ^ ^


	2. Shadow's Bean

Well hello everybody, thanks for waiting for this chapter ^ ^

...I hope it was worth the wait *Obviously not nervous about rusty writing style*

O_O Why do my fics end up longer than they should be?

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Sonic Ironic Moronic Platonic 2: Shadow's bean

"Hey Shadow." Sonic sat in front of the TV, waving his arms and deliberately blocking Shadow's view. The black hedgehog was in a comfortable position in the couch; his feet cocked up crossed on the matching foot rest, only one kick away from Sonic's _face._ "Feed me_._" He demanded, baring a tiny fang under the left side of his mouth.

"Go home." Shadow wasn't planning on moving from this spot, not when he's reading his upmost favourite section in his newspaper, the comic section. Oh yes…No one will ever understand the gut hurting humour like Shadow did. Nothing shall disturb this moment of peace…

Unless your name is Sonic and like to _karate chop_ newspapers out of the way just to do your so called signature pout "But Shadooooowwww! Make me something to eat!"

"Can't you cook for yourself?" Shadow resisted the urge to strike him straight away. This is a shocking first. Usually he'd abuse the powers of Chaos Control and lock Sonic outside again but that instantly follows up with the blue hog digging his way back in and ruining the back garden. Only God knows how Sonic manages to do it _every goddamn time_. Without fail.

Sonic reclined his head all the way back baring a rather displeased, if not insulted look on his face "Ehh? Is _that_ how you treat your guests?" He rolled onto his stomach and scoffed while flicking Shadow's feet out of boredom "No wonder you rarely have people around. You're just a boring ass grump!"

"CHAOS…"

Many sweat drops appeared around Sonic's head as a frightful aura loomed over Shadow. "AH—" A Nano second later Sonic landed face first into concrete "Damnit he used Chaos Control again!" he pulled himself up and spat out a few stones lodged in his teeth. The ground had a huge dent of his face.

And a tooth.

He scanned the area around him, realizing Shadow only teleported him just behind the back yard fence and smirked. It's like the black hedgehog _wants_ to be invaded by Sonic again but of course the blue blur would never miss an opportunity to mess with Shadow "Well then…_I'm gonna wreck it!_"

While that ridiculous plan was happening, the oblivious Shadow hopped to his feet after hearing his doorbell being abused by another annoyance he has to deal with.

Silver.

"Hi hi Shadow! How are ya?" he greeted Shadow with a warm welcome

"…"

Shadow slammed the door.

"NOO PLEASE LET ME IN!" Shadow could hear Silver scratching on the door and decided to let him in after five minutes of snot dribbling and overdramatic pleas. If he allowed Silver to carry on, it would lead to his door breaking and possibly much worse events he couldn't possibly imagine without shuddering.

"Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU SHADOW~! You're such a nice person!" The cheerful hedgehog praised even with latter's hand gripping his face. "Just hurry up and leave white boy. What do you want?" Shadow grumbled and lowered his hand, plopping himself back in the couch.

Silver invited himself to the seat next to him, violating the rules of _personal space_. He was so close that their noses briefly touched. Silver's canary orbs seemed to grow and shimmer, emphasising his innocence in contrast to Shadow's darting evil glares while trying to find his gun. "You know! The usual, don't pretend you don't know now!"

Then Shadow rolled his eyes, pushed Silver back and face palmed. He can't even remember why he agreed to let Silver plant flowers in the backyard. From what he could recall, Silver mentioned Blaze's allergy to a certain flower causes her to sneeze flames. One time poor Silver nearly lost his house to this unexpected threat so he begged and pleaded for Shadow's permission as he is his only friend...besides Sonic.

"Oh, _that._ They're still in the ba—"

_KONK._

The boys' attention shifted to the living room window, now covered with splodges of mud and slowly sliding down.

No second was wasted dashing to the scene of the crime. Indeed, there were many holes dug up, rocks thrown around and flowers torn and ruined. All thanks to one hedgehog with his tail wagging in front of them.

"MY PETUNIAS!"

The perpetrator sat up with said flower in his mouth "AH FU—"

_TWACK!_

"How come you allow Silver's presence and not mine? I call favouritism!" Sonic pointed the accusing finger at Shadow, the bump on his head started to glow. Shadow had punched him and dragged his weak body inside while Silver prepared tiny graves for painful deaths his flowers had to go through.

"Silver doesn't piss me off as much as you do." He huffed with folded arms

"That's discrimination!" Sonic gasped.

"We're all _hedgehogs._"

"It is discrimination to hedgehogs with no chest hair!" the anger in Sonic clearly showed on his body; the six quills on his head were totally stiff. Shadow blinked a few times. "Wait What?"

"I'M HUNGRY SHADOW!"

"GET OUT."

"I CAN'T! That's what I'm trying to tell you!"

"Wha—I'm going to regret asking this…but why can't you go home?"

"Tails locked me out!" the tearful hedgehog got down on all fours and sighed in depression. Tears combined with drool formed a puddle in between his gloved hands, visualizing the tempting glass jar filled with jelly beans hidden underneath Tails' bed. "How was I supposed to know they were off limits?"

"You reap what you sow." Shadow rolled his eyes.

Suddenly an awkward silence occurred. Sonic seriously got up just to stare curiously into Shadow's eyes. What's with people trying to _murder_ him with their gaze?

Sonic's attention trailed down "You know your nose kinda looks like a—"

"Don't even _think_ about eating my fucking nose."


End file.
